The Rev J. Olly Glum ventured into the centre of Lichfield this morning to buy bread and drugs, and was assailed on at least two occasions by unnecessarily amplified buskers.

One was outside the Samuel Johnson Birthplace Museum, a middle aged man playing tunes like The Sounds Of Silence on the violin which would have been quite pleasant were it not for the pick-up attached to the violin and the slightly distorted and far from silent accompaniment emanating from the amplified speaker at his feet. Another was a child outside McDonald’s, playing the trumpet, and playing it very nicely except that he was accompanied by a man (his father?) playing a keyboard or accordion (The Rev averted his eyes at this point) again loudly amplified.

Behind the Black Country Fish & Chips van beside Boots The Chemist there was a man playing steel pans. These may or may not have been amplified or accompanied by a backing track… the Rev had by this time lost the will to pay any attention at all to his surroundings, and was intent upon reaching his drugs dealer (otherwise known as the Touchwood Pharmacy) further unassailed.

Which all acts as a preamble for the announcement that, should the gods of weather smile upon us, our merry band of totally acoustic and shamelessly incompetent musicians will be playing in Dam Street tomorrow (Sunday) from 10.30am to 12 noon. The band will feature not only a new player – James Saddened (vocals, kazoo and guitar) – but also a new piece of equipment – a loudhailer (though never as loud as bloody electric amplification!).

As it’s December tomorrow the band will be appearing under their alias The Yuletide Serenaders. Do pop along to smile with us, drop a quid or two into the hat box (all proceeds go to the homeless charity Crisis) and perhaps do a little hop, skip and jump of joy.